“My Lord and My God!”

Thomas, called Didymus, one of the Twelve, was not with them when Jesus came.  So the other disciples said to him, “We have seen the Lord.” But Thomas said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nail marks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” (John 20:24-25)

Today we celebrate the Feast of Saint Thomas, the Apostle.Thomas is most remembered for his struggle to believe in the Resurrection of Jesus.

Even though he experienced Jesus’s miracles firsthand and devoted years of his life as a disciple, he still was not able to bring himself to believe, to have hope in what Jesus had promised. Jesus’s Resurrection seems to Thomas too good to be true. But Jesus’s response to Thomas reflects His great mercy. He doesn’t reprimand Thomas or let him dwell in disbelief. Rather, Jesus appears to Thomas and allows him to place his hand in His side. He wants Thomas to share in the joy of the Resurrection.

If we are determined not to believe, then no miracle can convince us otherwise. We will find a way to explain away anything, even putting our very hand in Jesus’ side. Every day we are surrounded by miracles, messages of God’s love for us, but so often we ignore them.

Doubt is a natural part of the human experience. Part of having faith is struggling to trust in a God who is beyond our understanding. To use Saint Augustine’s analogy, trying to understand God is like trying to fit the ocean into a seashell. Our minds can only hold a fraction of His infinite glory. When we experience doubt, we shouldn’t be afraid of it or push it away. Instead, with faith seeking understanding, we can seek to know more about the things that confuse us and ask Jesus to help us believe.

It’s what we do with our doubt that matters. Do we refuse to accept that there might be things beyond our understanding, things that we can’t quantify or control? Or do we present our doubt before God, being honest about our paltry faith and asking Him to help us see and understand, to draw us deeper? Jesus knows our weaknesses and doubts, and He wants to heal us despite our lack of belief or understanding.

Yours in Faith, Justice and Learning